‘I’m going to try for a homebirth’
Say this to your friends and you will be met with a barrage of comments, questions, and opinions.
So what’s the reality? Is it a gruesome Victorian affair or was I an absolute Earth mother? Read on to find out about my home birth.
When I got pregnant with our second child, I immediately thought I wanted to try for a home birth. We had a really positive first birth experience (read about it here) and it was something I was aware of being an option in our area.
Initially, my community midwife, Becky sold it to me that even if I opted in and then last minute changed my mind, I could always change and come into the hospital. It didn’t work the other way around.
So we planted that seed and over the next 9 months, we gave it some serious consideration.
If we’re honest, I was far more up for it than my husband.
Mark had lots of concerns, from the mess to the fact that if something were to go wrong, we would have to take that journey into the hospital (to give some relevance, we live about a 10-minute drive from the hospital, a lot less I’m sure on blue lights!)
I was more excited and was looking at things positively. We had a toddler who was under two and had never really been away from me. We don’t have family who live nearby, so my main concern was what we would do with her if I went into labour suddenly.
Furthermore, my first labour was relatively quick and I was concerned that if it was just as quick, I could just stay at home and have all the kit ready to go (it’s worth noting that I still had a hospital bag packed for myself and for Charlotte if she had to go and stay at a friends house. I’ve made a list of all the things I popped in the first time around for reference)
We weighed it up and decided that we would try for a home birth. To help decide I watched a few different videos which gave very positive views on home birth. Emily Norris and Louise Pentland are well-known bloggers who shared their stories in a lot of detail. I also enjoyed watching Cherry Healey’s program (available on youtube). I particularly liked the woman who said ‘I’ve seen my cat give birth, so I’m sure I could do it!’
We attended a Zoom call with other parents locally who had just had a homebirth to see what they recommended and it was all very positive and reassuring.
Shortly after we ordered our birth pool. I was told there were ones available locally for sale etc but for me, I just wanted that reassurance that it didn’t have a puncture; I know how these things happen even with the best intentions.
If you’ve never looked at this before (as I haven’t) it’s explained that you can share a pool but not a liner. So when you’re testing the pool in the run-up, don’t use the liner until it’s go time!
We were recommended Barefoot birth pools which were effortless. It arrived with all the gear to inflate, fill, deflate, and empty. I found the delivery and return process really smooth.
Along with the home birth pool we got in the essentials; shower curtains or plastic sheeting for sofas (you’ll hear more about this later!) and lots of towels, small and large. We also got some snacks in for ourselves and the midwives.
After a really great pregnancy, it got to mid-January, and just as I had with his sister I hit 38 weeks, and oh…there’s a contraction!
Luckily, Mark was on rest days (this was a worry!), Charlotte was getting ready for bed at about 7pm and I remember vividly bathing her thinking, I think this is the last night before you have a sibling. You have no idea how much your life is going to change overnight.
Once she was in bed, I told Mark to inflate the pool. It could be a false alarm or this could be the real deal. Our home birth pool was inflated.
After a couple of hours of broken sleep, the contractions ramped up. It was time to call the midwives!
About 11.30pm the home birth team arrived. They told us to get the pool filled. I was 7cm already. Crikey.
Part of my home birth plan was to keep everything as ‘normal’ as possible. Something in me gets a bit panicky when things aren’t as they should be. So apart from the giant inflatable bath filling up my living room, the lights were kept on and dim, just like we were watching a film. I also asked to pop the radio on. I’m a big radio fan and the familiar sounds of gentle music and discussion from Radio 2 were a huge comfort in between contractions. What I didn’t foresee was that in the previous week, the late, great Meatloaf had sadly passed away. My groans and long out-breaths were accompanied by the soundtracks of ‘Bat out of Hell’ as we relived his entire back catalog.
Labour was good.
The home birth pool was great.
Lots of jelly babies as the night carried on and there was a lot of topping up of the water.
One thing the home birth pool kit didn’t include was a thermometer which I knew in advance. My little companion was a small thermometer bath duck who bobbed around me during the whole affair.
The sun started to consider coming up ( my daughter had slept the whole night through). We discussed that if she were to go, I would probably speed up a bit. I was anxious that she would wake up to me screaming or hear things that she wouldn’t understand. It was decided that my lovely friend, Charlie, would collect her and take her back for breakfast and a day of fun and playing. I remember sobbing as I heard her popping her shoes on by the door.
By this point, I had three fantastic midwives with me. Natalie (who was my lead midwife and utterly wonderful), Hannah (a very experienced midwife, but in this scenario considered a trainee as she was transitioning from hospital to homebirth team), and Hilda, who I knew well from my previous birth and is an absolute legend.
It’s maybe a good point here to mention how fantastic this team was. All incredibly professional. Calm, collected and completely understood where I was going and what I wanted. I was using hypnobirthing (something I’ve talked about a lot in my other post). Natalie was my hypnobirthing teacher in 2019 when I went to a class put on in the village hall pre-covid. I really was in the best hands.
I was mumbling under my breath as the contractions got more intense. What I hadn’t realized was that Hannah must have been noting down my mumblings. When I started to find it tough, I felt her kneel close to me and say ‘you can do anything for 1 minute’. The phrase I had been saying over and over. I needed to hear it.
Then it all got a bit serious.
Natalie couldn’t hear the baby. I think I was getting distressed. After hours of tranquility and the home birth dream, I was out of the pool and an ambulance was on its way.
But then the midwives came into their own. I remember my waters being broken on my sofa. I remember Hilda holding my hand and very sternly telling me that if this baby doesn’t come out now, I was being taken in. There were blue lights on the drive. And I pushed. And there he was. My son. A screaming, pink, perfect little baby.
As I opened my eyes and sobbed a huge relief, I looked around to see a dumbfounded paramedic crew, my husband just grinning, and a relieved team of midwives. A houseful of happy campers at 9.05 am.
The clean-up of our home was fine. Our midwives were fantastic. All the towels went in the wash. All the shower curtains that had protected my sofa were thrown away and Mark emptied the pool with minimum stress. I was all a bit oblivious, curled up on the sofa with my little boy. Charlotte was home mid-afternoon. That was an odd feeling. Although fantastic to see her, I felt like the hospital might have given me that time and space to process having a second baby. Mark put Charlotte to bed, I had a shower and we ordered a Dominos. It was surreal.
So was it gruesome and archaic? No.
Was I an Earth Mother? Also, no.
But was it everything I had hoped for? It was. Everything and more. Despite the bit of drama at the end.
After speaking with the midwives afterward, your brain does funny things when you’re in a bit of a pickle. And I think if I was in the hospital there would probably have been more intervention. But at home, you work with what you’ve got.
Thank you for taking the time to read my experience. If you have any questions or comments, please pop them below
Isy xx
